Perspective is Everything.

Selfishness In the company of someone who’s selfish, a person feels invisible and unappreciated. No one wants to compete with someone else’s self-focused behavior. Sacrifices and compromises are foundations for building a fun, happy and healthy relationship. If you’ve been called selfish and wish to change your ways, start with your listening skills. Rather than dwell on yourself, ask your date questions and get to know them beyond a superficial level. Then throughout courtship, think outside of yourself and your needs. By giving as opposed to taking, you may eliminate that constant trend of people walking away from you. Money Finances do influence a relationship.

No one wants to be surprised to find out that their partner is inundated with exponential debt. The newest York instances recently shed light on how a bad credit score has actually become an upfront dealbreaker for single men and women. Poor credit reflects an irresponsible and mismanaged lifestyle. a dark credit history doesn’t mean you’re doomed in dating though. Create a budget, pay off balances monthly and keep credit card balances low — a healthy credit score is around 800 or higher, according the newest York instances. Work to reduce outstanding debt accumulated from student loans, car loans and other loans as well. Once you’re on the right track, protection from identity theft by Lifelock can further safeguard your credit. Identity theft can destroy your credit that you’ve worked so hard to bring back, which can be as frustrating as a breakup. The sole difference is, you won’t have to change your relationship status on Facebook if you sign up with Lifelock, you just have to “like” their page. Shannon Kilborn Shannon is a baseball fan and freelance writer living in Chicago.ashly mad Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Have you ever tried phone sex? If so, what is the reason for doing it? To reconnect with an intimate partner with whom you maintain a long-distance relationship, or to try something new, exciting and intimate? Regardless of whether you tried it or not, for most people it’s form of difficult to start this type of conversation, and not sound ridiculous, but intimate. You might think that the question “ What are you wearing?” is a cliché that you hear in every other movie, but it can be a very good icebreaker. The answer can then slowly “glide” from entertainment to sensual and you can slowly ‘impale’ the sexual energy. On the other hand you can start by concentrating on your breathing being sensual and passionate. Sometimes saying “hello” in a sexy voice or tone will be enough… Everything is a matter of character and the moment. If you feel weird about initiating phone sex, don’t be, here is a handy piece of information. Research conducted in the U.S. showed that 85 % of men do not have anything against phone sex. Remember, phone sex is just amplifying the experience of masturbation, while you actually do the work yourself. Intense experience Besides allowing partners to re-connect on an intimate level, phone sex is also a very safe form of sex. You are literally talking about where you want to be touched and where you want to touch your partner. You do not need any protection. It’s all about your imagination, the picture in your head, you can be where you want to be, who you want to be and what you want to experience and that can be a very intense experience.

One of the most important things is to trust the person with whom you engage in phone sex. Otherwise, you can feel very vulnerable because you’re sharing the most intimate fantasies with the person on the other end of the line. It can be more intimate than the touch itself and sex in the physical sense. The fulfillment of fantasies Besides requiring very high confidence, phone sex also requires the correct signal reading in order to start a conversation and let it flow in the right direction in order not to look ridiculous to the partner. When all these elements match, you can relax in having sex with the help of the most powerful sexual organ – the brain. Your brain and mind can connect with your partner on a level that you never dreamed of being able to connect. For example, when you answer the phone, you may not feel that form of connection, but when you start to speak with each other over the phone and listening to each other’s voice you will begin to feel the connection with the partner. We have already mentioned that the phone sex is a perfect way of fulfilling your fantasies, which logistically or physically they would not be possible to fulfill.

How to Get Your Ex Back in 5 Powerful Steps

Sex in space, in another time, environment, sex that involves role playing… Some people may never have embarked on role-playing in person with their partners, but only over the phone because it is sometimes easier to start a certain taboo topic this way. Tell him/her what you want him/her to do to you… What can you do to improve the experience of phone sex? When you answer the phone, the easiest way to being is to start talking very casually and typically, and that it eventually turns into something more intimate and erotic. You can start using words that can have a double meaning, emphasizing them, making it clear to your partner what sort of talking you’re in the mood for. If the conversation goes in that direction, lie down and relax. Turn off or lower the lights, turn down or turn off the television, music.

In time you will probably lose some or all of your clothing. It is your private thing of how you are going to talk to your partner, but you don’t need to start talking dirty or swearing like a truck driver, unless you and your partner are excited and prefer it this way. Ask suggestive questions and listen to what your partner is talking about. Use euphemisms which will drive you and your partner crazy with excitement. If you limit vulgar talk, definitely do not limit the descriptions making sure to be very detail in you description. The more explicit the detail, the “talk” will be. For example, do not just say “ When you come home, I’ll wait for you in bed.” Describe everything, how you’ll be dressed, how excited and turned on you are, what you want him/her to do to you and what you’re going to do to him/her. Describe where you want to be kissed; touched, licked … Scenarios are endless. Say all those things while moaning. Do and say only what seems natural to you, do not whine because it’ll sound ridiculous and unrealistic. It is important for you and your partner to be introduced into all of this.

Imagine phone sex like a game of tennis, constantly switching the tennis ball to another “player” and scoring points. What’s more beautiful than an “ace” in sex? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Sex Tagged in: erotic, intimacy, phone sex, relationship, seduction It’s not you, it’s me… Uh huh, Suckaaaaa! A couple of nights ago I went for a drink with some girlfriends. We are a fun bunch there’s no denying it. Intelligent, attractive and up for a laugh, I don’t mind saying it ’s true. We are a catch. Of the 4 of us 2 were single and 2 had also been dumped.

Dumped, I say to you! What a nasty little word, discarded like a pair of ripped 15 deniers after a boozy night in Manchester town center, how very dare they. Fortunately for us these days it takes a little more than some prick getting cold feet to put us off our Sauvignon Blanc and after a 45 minute bitching session we spent the rest of the night flirting with poor bewildered Italian tourists in skinny jeans en route to have their pictures taken outside Amy Winehouse’s house. Nothing like a good dose of harassment to lift one’s spirits. However the situation as it was did get me thinking about the techniques men use when it comes to calling time on relationships. Friend A. received the following after a 7-month relationship – “Hiya, you are a beautiful, witty, fantastic person, you make me laugh constantly and of course the sex is amazing ; ) I have been totally blessed to have you in my life. Who’d have thought when we met that we would have the memories that we do now! But, I’m sorry and there’s no easy way to say it but I’m not the man for you. Somewhere around is some lucky man who’s going to spend his life with you. Your are an amazing girl don’t ever forget it.” WTF??

There is of course the polar opposite ( take friend B) when the spineless prick in question makes no contact whatsoever, leaving one open mouthed and completely clueless as to the whys are wherefores (though from my experience there is almost always a 3rd party taking part in situations such as this, break up with my girlfriend of 3 years, fuck around with someone else for a month, get back with girlfriend and totally wipe from memory and sim card time spent with other girl ) this is chilling enough but a text of this level of bullshit or this degree of utter patronizing claptrap?! It renders one speechless no? So let’s get this straight she is beautiful, witty, fantastic, hilarious amazing and great shag….but not quite enough to warrant a relationship with the dumper. Man alive what’s this guy looking for? And to boot we have smiley faces, Happy Memories and lucky men thrown in. Spare us Mr Nice, you ain’t foolin’ no-one. Note to all men, dumping a girl by turning your phone off and not answering calls will make your girlfriend get pissed and slag you off to her friends. Dumping your girlfriend by telling her how amazing she is will send her into a irreversible state of insanity, consumed by a fury which will only be calmed by the total destruction of your life, and ideally your slow and painful death.

Why a Man May Give You His Number as opposed to Taking Yours.

Worst case scenario however is that she believes your flowery tripe. And let this in turn be a training for all women. A man doesn’t finish with you are wonderful, because you are fantastic in bed or your ‘too good for him’ (who the hell invented that pile of shit?) they finish with you because you’re too needy, you’ve put on a stone since they met you or they have started shagging the barmaid in the Crown and Goose. It’s not you it’s them? Utter nonsense of course it’s you, he didn’t sign up for nights watching all star family fortunes and trips to the in-laws every other weekend, he wanted fun, great sex in the kitchen and wild nights drinking Sambuca with a hot chick wearing crotchless knickers – you were that girl once were you not. Finally be warned, the ultimate P45, the mother of all bullshit lines – I’m just not ready for a relationship. Under no circumstances believe this codswallop. Men are ALWAYS ready for a relationship, contrary to popular believe men are in actual fact far more needy than women and from my experience will happily bounce from one girl to another in a matter of weeks.

How many times have you seen a couple break up after a 4-year relationship only for him to have another poor fool up the duff within 6 months. The truth is it’s not that they are not ready for a relationship.https://topadultreview.com/ They are just not ready for a relationship with you. At no point should you waste your valuable time pitying him for his inability to get close to anyone. I guarantee while you are blaming his relationship with his mother for his fear of intimacy he is shagging the girl from HR in the office loos at lunchtime or proposing to Janet from the running club 2 weeks after breaking up with you. In conclusion, when a man dumps you, regardless of which pitiful ridiculous way he does it, it is not because you are too best for him it is because he just doesn’t really fancy you much anymore. My advice? – By all means feel free to send him 86 texts in 1 night, scream abuse outside his window and post a picture of his tiny penis on twitter. Being dignified won’t make him wish he’d never ended it it’ll make him breathe a sigh of relief that he got away so easily, so let your hair down girls, go crazy and enjoy the ride! Trust me it’s far more fun than family fortunes. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook22Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: break ups What are your dating fears, skippy? Lame, lame lame.

Totally lame.  About this time last year I was 100% certain that anyone and every person who signed up for online dating sites was L-a-m-e. And to tell you the truth, I had no good reason to think that at all. I had close girlfriends meet their husbands online – I had family members singing up too! Online dating success was all around me, and yet it seemed, well, you know. Lame. I guess I have to chock-it up to the fact that I was in a relationship. I mean, this was when I have been dating someone steadily for nearly two years. We’d moved in together and shared the same group of friends – and the whole online dating thing seemed like a joke. Until… I got dumped. In hindsight, I guess we just weren’t meant to be.

It came down to our view of the future: he wanted to settle down and start family, and I didn’t even want to think about getting preggers. So, we split up, moved out of our apartment, and I found myself in my late 20-s living alone in the city. My apartment soon became a black hole of loneliness. I don’t know much about black holes, but I’m able to tell you that this one had super-suction.  After falling through what felt like light-years of gloom, I’d had enough. It was time to face my dating fears – face the fact that I was scared (yes scared!) of online dating sites. I decided to attack the problem head on. I interviewed friends and family, read reviews, scoured the internet for info. Yes, I did my homework. And then I took the plunge and signed up for 3 different sites to get a good feel for each. I asked friends to help me take a good profile picture; I answered personality questionnaires, character tests and compatibility evaluations thoroughly, honestly and brutally; I threw myself into these online dating sites and found that I actually was starting to enjoy myself.  It came more naturally to me than I’d thought. It was like facebook – for singles! (And I’m, like, a facebook addict. Seriously.) Each part of building my profile was like building up my self-esteem from square one. It gave me the chance to stop and think about me. About what I wanted and what I was really looking for.

And it also gave me the opportunity to open my horizons, meet new people and get back in the dating game with a fun, helpful tool that I found was easy to use. No, I’m not engaged to someone I met online just yet, (I’m not that easy) and yes, I did end up going on some pretty awful dates and expect to go on more, but I also went on some great dates, met some great people, started dating some pretty good looking guys… and in the end, proved myself wrong about myself! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Featured, Online Dating Tagged in: Online Dating, online dating sites If this isn’t the expression of excitement I don’t know what is. Yep, it’s mother effin’ Christmas. I’m making my lists and I’m checking them not once, but a whopping thrice! I’ve been a bad boy, a very bad boy who may have his comeuppance coming to him next week.

How so? Oh I’m heading home for the holiday and I’m bringing my lady with me. Sure, sure. It’s not a big deal; forcing your parents onto your unsuspecting lover. That is, unless your mother is named: Rowena D. Clobberbean. Rowena was a stout woman that took even less shit from people than Chuck Norris toilet paper… Oh sure, sure. You guys think I’m merely over exaggerating about my dear mum. Perhaps I am. I just remember the last time I introduced a girlfriend to my mom.

It was a life altering experience, I tell you. It started innocently enough. My mom hugged my girlfriend and promptly asked her if I was still into those “boobie magazines.” My ex laughed nervously and before she had any chance to say anything my mom went on: “Oh, you didn’t know? I’m so silly; of course he wouldn’t mention that!! You see, I’m convinced my son was a druggy when he was in high school, so I regularly went through his room looking for marijuana, battery acid or whatever it was that those little jerks did back then.” “Thanks mom,” I stated rather loudly. My mom replied, “Oh, son, I’m not embarrassing you am I?” She turns to look at my ex, Kelly, and says “You know, there’s really nothing wrong with pornography, even if it was some of that weird stuff.” Kelly looked at me and asked, “Weird stuff, honey?” Sweet jesus, this was going from bad to worse and two minutes haven’t even gone by yet. For the first time in my life, I shrunk from the occasion in a minute-fifty flat. “You know, Kelly, really, it’s okay with the porn. We were wondering if Alex was gay or something like that. Oh! Don’t you worry; it’s okay to be gay. We just needed to know what we’re dealing with. Right?” Thanks again, ma. The whole “we just needed to know what we’re dealing with” comment just made me feel that way more special. I mean that’s what the president says when dealing with terrorist threats and shit like that. The rest of the evening wasn’t a whole lot better than how it all started off… That was 1st and the last time, I said to myself, I would let any love interest around my dear ol’ mum.

It took a few weeks or so, but eventually I got it. My mom doesn’t do things on accident. She does things on purpose. Translation? My mom set me up and knocked me the eff out with a well placed and even better timed embarrassment salvo, the kind of thing that makes a person fall to the floor and curl up into the fetal position begging for the world to just stop. Nice one, mom. I’m on to you! We’ll see if you will get away with any particular one again. Merry freaking Christmas to me! Ugh.  Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Yes, please! I will take a busty blonde roommate! Free rent, too! You ever wonder why they handed out those dorm room assignment sheets that asked you to clarify all your likes, dislikes and behavioral tendencies? Well it’s because they were simply trying to match you up with somebody that they thought would be fitting. In other words, your roommate selection would be considering how you answered. Of course, when you take a handful of kids from many different schools, backgrounds, families and ethnicities, you’re going to get a very diverse group. Basically, they want you to “get along” with the person they intend on making you room with. In 2011, I believe this is a fantastic method for human pairing that people are who’re truly interested in finding a life partner should follow. Our world is shifting gradually towards logic and practicality; there are a growing quantity of divorces each year, and people are simply losing interest in one another too quickly.

Many folks version of love is based on happenstance and superficiality. In other words, you’re initial impression of somebody may have been skewed considering circumstance. Perhaps they just drank 14 cups of coffee and won the lottery that day, and that’s why they were so cheery when you met them? Likewise, they could be the most attractive person in the world while making everybody else seem inferior.