Online Dating by the Numbers

You know what advice I got most often when I was on these sites was? “You should be dating lot of people.” And, WHY would that be? Obviously because everyone else on that site is doing the same thing. So basically we are all just dating a bunch of people, never giving one person a actual chance; because we are so busy trying to figure out who is best, and if there could be someone better out there in match.com land. All the members could probably play six degrees of separation and all be linked together somehow. The worst part about these sites is that when you go to someone’s profile, it says when they were last online. So you are constantly looking to see how often, and the last time they were online. If it was within a week, and they weren’t on sending YOU a message, you assume they are seeing other people. Then you can get pissed and start sending off winks random-fire as if it’s some sort of revenge. Of course you can never ask the person if they are dating other people, that’s like match.com suicide. And the worst thing that can happen to you: he’s “online now!!” Nobody knows the proper way to handle this situation. Do you say hello, do you ignore him, or do you send a psychotic sounding message like “how many other girls are you talking to, you fucking prick?” Sigh.

Luckily I gave up internet dating before it caused me serious permanent mental damage.stripchat ad celeb jihad So, what’s the answer? How do we un-complicate dating?? Obviously social media has taken our lives by storm, affecting everything from corporate marketing to our relationships. There’s just simply no way to go back to basics. I guess we just have to live and learn how to use these tools to our advantage. But I just can’t figure out how… Thoughts? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook23Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, eharmony, facebook, match.com, Relationships, single, social media Heather and I were sitting there, having fun and great conversation; we were getting to know one another and she was so pretty.

In between sips of my bourbon, Heather says, “So, let’s see, I’ve bounced around between the coasts and I’m here because my 2 year old keeps me here; my son, you see.” Wait. Whaa? Your son? Now, I should back up. Yet another gal I met online. a nice girl, very pretty and very congenial and pleasant to speak with. I sent her a note and we took things from there. I should mention that nowhere did she mention that she had a child. On top of that I tend to filter out the mothers in my search. Nothing wrong with a single mother in the least, they’re fuckin great, that’s just not what I’m looking for. In all honesty, I shouldn’t have found this kind person and nothing should have happened. We wasted each others’ time.

  Why was that date a waste of time? I suppose it’s not a waste of time, per se. But it’s definitely not something I’m in the market for. It’s well documented on this site, you see. In any case, the date shouldn’t have  happened. So, I think if you gots the kids, then you should let people know about them. That is, if you have a kid that you are for, then you’re sort of obliged to tell potential suitors about your bundle of happiness. Though, I think we could extend this cover other interesting personal factoids as well. DUIs, prison stints, inflammatory STDs and the list could go on and on… This isn’t by any means bad, but if there’s something to be said for not wasting your time… The person that’s going to fall for you isn’t going to care whether you have kids, are a burning case of the dreets; they’ll love you and all that stuff you’re carrying with you. Why hide these things? I mean, why would you want to go out with someone who isn’t going to be on board with the things you have going on in your life? Fuck em. They don’t deserve you anyway. So just be up front, put your laundry up there, give the world a middle finger and see who’s left. Chances are it’s someone who’s worth a damn and thinks you are, too.

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Like rent, healthcare and cooking, there are many things in life that you have to start managing when you turn 25, like admitting the fact that there is no algorithm for dating.

The Allure of Mystery

You may have friends that already have a mortgage down on their semi-detached house with a partner of 4 years, or get people on Tinder asking them for meet-ups every 20 minutes. Yes, it can be a lonely place for a person that isn’t on the dating scene or is sick and tired of people throwing a new ball game at them. If you tell your companion that you’re ‘dating’ someone right now, you’re saying that your sex life is relevant once again, and you’ve started to grow feelings for that person. If you tell your friend that you’re not dating anyone, he or she will think that you’re not getting any sex. However, that is a big misconception a lot of people fall for, especially when there are different ways to have sex without having to go on a dinner date beforehand. Whether you’d treat yourself with sex toys, masturbation or the odd one night stand without seeing anybody, what would happen to your initial view on dating? Let’s start off with an aspect that you’d appreciate. You wake a little bit brighter every morning If you’re like me, and you enjoy having a bit of ‘me-time’ before you go to sleep, the desire to have a hottie by your side in the morning won’t be as strong as it generally would be. I may be a bit of a day-dreamer, and I like to get lost in my thoughts, but there are times when I think that a good wank is better than a satisfactory shag. You do get the trivial benefits of keeping sex in your bed but not your date. For example, you don’t have to share the duvet, you don’t have to experience morning breath, and you don’t get woken up by the sound of your partner snoring right beside your ear. However, the greater benefit of spending time on yourself (or sex toys) is that you’re taking the time to indulge in what you want to think about, and how you want to pleasure yourself without feeling anxious in front of someone. More people in the world have strange fixations than you think or have fantasies which could seem too wild and weird for mainstream people to know.

Of course, you do touch yourself to a generic sex scene from your favorite drama on HBO. Nevertheless, there are days (or nights) when you want to completely revel in a reverie that will make you shoot fountains. I know that was just a fancy way of saying ‘embrace your fetishes’, but it’s true. You can’t lie to me about that. Don’t even try. Once you start doing this for a week or a month, and desire gets weaker and weaker, you begin to realize something… You only wanted orgasms, not relationships I know, the thought of it sounds passionless and cold, but it represents a lot of people’s truths. No empathetic person would go out with someone just to get some action. That said, you cannot help but reap the benefits from the relationship.

Too many times I’ve seen my single friends bedding their partners the moment they started going out with the, and only hearing about how great the sex was with them. But over time, those friends of mine start to learn about their new-found partners and end up losing the flair they had for them before. Hence, their sex sessions go from great to good, from good to satisfactory, and from satisfying to pure shit. I’m sure many of you reading has experienced this before. In my opinion, sex and love are different, but they is interchangeable, which is why you probably feel like your orgasms are diminishing if your relationship is going downhill. I’m not saying that masturbation alone can save you from the perils of dating. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t exclude the idea of indulging in a one night stand whenever the moment arises. I don’t have a lot of one night stands because the feeling of fucking the first hot guy I see hardly comes around, even when I’d be drunk.https://topadultreview.com/ But my last one was solely focused on giving my libido what it wanted, and then go on my merry way with whatever I was currently doing, which gave me one more epiphany… You’re not as desperate as you were before If you’re someone who had a fantastic time with a stranger and want to repeat a private session with him or her again, you will go through the process of exchanging numbers and texting each other until you arrange another get-together with that person. After repeating this process, there will be, at least, one person that will develop feelings for the other. And depending on what level that another person is on, the dating can either improve or end awkwardly. If you focus on yourself, sexually and personally, there’s a good chance that your character will become more selective in choosing what style of clothes you want to wear, what kind of things you want to do on the weekend, and what kind of person would be worth your time and energy. Although other contributing factors makes you want to go into courtship or not, very few people realize that sex plays a big role in dating. It’s one of the critical components to a relationship alongside dating, as it’s what helps build the intimacy between two people. Then again, sex is a primal need that everyone needs, no matter how much or how little you crave it; dating is a choice. Many men and women who’ve just turned single would either go on many rebounds or wallow in pity for a couple of weeks.

There are pros and cons when you choose between the two courses of action. If you seek out numerous hookups, your sex sessions will become a task to complete, not a hobby to enjoy.

So You’re Into Her… Now What?

If you wallow in pity for a couple of weeks, your sex session will go M.I.A., and you’ll forget what it’s like to feel pleasure in your crotch. But what if you just want to keep sex in your life? Well, that is possible. And depending on what your outcomes can be, you might find yourself not giving a shit about dating anymore. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook23Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Self, Sex I’ll tell you, being 29 and not having been on a real date in over a year could be devastating to some young women.

The constant question from my older relatives of “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” That’s not fun. Being truly the only single person in attendance when one of my girlfriends has a party -sucks. Everyone else around me seems to be getting engaged or hitched. How many times will I be a bridesmaid? Not fun. But overall it’s really not so bad. Don’t get me wrong, I miss the exciting date banter, getting dressed to impress and discovering chemistry with another person….but I do not miss a lot of other things. The anticipation of his call (or do I call him?), fretting over what to wear, having to look pretty all the time, nervousness, painful hair removal, etc… These things are not missed in the slightest. Sometimes though I really do just want to be asked on a date. I guess I just don’t get it. Is there an Elephant in the room that people aren’t telling me about? If there is, please tell me. Cause for the life of me, no men will ask me out.

Well I suppose there was one, in May, but it wasn’t a real date to me. He asked me to meet up him at a little Jazz Bar near my home and I obliged. He was a gentleman at first and it was nice. As we got to know each other I asked him how old he was. This is a natural question, right? Well he really did not want to answer, so then of course I insisted. He was 40 (but looked 30). I would like to have someone a little nearer to my age-STRIKE 1. As we were drinking our cocktails I noticed that he was wearing a hat again (he wore one the night I initially met him). So I asked him “Why the hat all the time?” He removed the hat and I understood immediately. He was mostly bald, but was attempting to salvage his remaining hair by doing some intricate comb-over hair contortion technique-STRIKE 2. I was trying to be open minded-really I was! But then he took off his jacket and revealed his appalling T-shirt that had a picture of a Rooster on it and said “Rock Out with your Cock Out!”-STRIKE 3! Yes Siree, this is the sort of guy that asks me out. At this point I feel like I have a lot of practice NOT dating. But I like my life and I am enjoying every minute of my singledom. So here are a few pieces of advice to help you to use this time sensibly and to make the most of being single too! 1. Do things- there is a lot of freedom in NOT having a relationship.

You can do whatever you want, and not have to concern yourself with what your date wants to do. So do it girl! Eat at your favorite restaurant 5 nights a week and order your favorite dish every time. Rent all the sappy movies you want from Netflix. Hey you don’t even have to help make any plans on Super Bowl Sunday….cause to you its just another Sunday (I am not a sports fan). Go out Salsa dancing with your friends. Relish the time you have with yourself…..because you may not have the chance to indulge like this again if you get swooped up into a whirlwind love. 2. Improve things- I am a huge supporter of improving and evolving oneself. Don’t you want to be the best YOU that you can be? No one is perfect; there is always room for improvement.

So give church another try. Experience a therapist. Do some inner recovery. Forgive those who wronged you. Apologize to those you have hurt. Figure out why your past relationships didn’t work and then take the steps to improve the areas where your relational skills are lacking. You can even ask your ex’s or your friends or family for suggestions (if you are brave enough)! For me I realized that I had been a little too controlling in the past. It has been something I have been working through and I have definitely seen growth and alter in myself. Hey if you’re waiting around for Mr.

Right, then try to become Ms. Right yourself? 3. Know things- if you are reading this then you probably have some free time on your hands. So why not use that time to increase your brain power smarty-pants? Read things you have always wanted to read. Take a class at a community college. Learn to paint. Take guitar lessons or a film making course. And while learning you will also be increasing your attractiveness and you could be opening yourself up to meet other people. I know too many girls that cannot live without a man, and this makes me so sad. You can live without a man, and you can have fun until the next one comes along! I swear to you that this has been one of THE best years of my life! So get out there and date yourself….Im sure it will be an enjoyable and cheap date and you wont have the stress of wondering why you didn’t call yourself….well maybe you will-if you are Alex V with multiple cell phones. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Dating & Relationships, Self Tagged in: Dating, For Men, For Women, observations Ladies an Gentlemen. There’s a dude in your life. That’s what this article assumes; I’m also making an assumption that you have no ideas of your own and you’re desperate, like the strobe light hunnies at the bar turning me down at 2am… The good news for you is, unlike me, there’s hope for you. *Note – There are not asshole bro-links here, folks. Meaning, no affiliate links. I never said my bitch ass was smert. Here’s a list of five mother fucking gifts you can buy your man. A nice wallet from Bellroy – http://bellroy.com/ These hand-crafted wallets are made with love, leather, sweat and by good folks in India who are known with regards to their fine leather goods. It’s a tradition, yo! Why? A wallet is a manly thing to carry.

Women, not so much. A wallet, like  watch, is a minimalist article/accessory. It makes when you look at it. The craftsmanship is obvious. Bellroys are of an elegant design. But the beauty of these wallets lie in their convenience of function. That is, these wallets are not meant to store your man’s fat stacks of cash, or a box of condoms. These are meant for a few key personal artifacts, a couple cards, some monetary notes (ca$h, bitches) and maybe some coin. Convenience is a beautiful thing and these wallets show that. Your man will appreciate the handsome elegance that these wallets show at a glance. I have the Note Sleeve Wallet and love the fuck out of it. I think your fella will, too. Something to shave his mangey ass face with. Membership at Dollar Shave Club – http://www.dollarshaveclub.com/ You’ll like your man with a full scruffy beard; perhaps your guy has a delicately manicured garden on his face with swirlies and shit. Either way, Dollar Shave Club is an inexpensive way to tell your man to clean up so you can feel the smoothness of his face as you shove it downtown as a way for him to say “thanks.” I mean, if you haven’t seen the video (you’d have to be living under a really heavy rock to not have seen this), It’s amazing. Of course it’s okay by Mike, it’s okay for your man.

They offer to replace your man’s blades on a monthly basis for prices of $1 dollar, $6 dollars and 9$ smacks to the face (or just buy the fucker a gift certificate). All reasonable and, if he’s not using the blades, you could just as well use them to shave your stuff… Assuming you have stuff needing shaving, ladies. I’m looking at you, Frida! Make him build shit – https://grandst.com/p/scribbler I’m looking at this nifty little set of awesomeness for myself! Maker’s Toolbox (the manufacturer) state the make DIY shit for kids, grownups will still enjoy these well-thought out toys. Not only is it fun to put these toys together, but they’ll look pretty fly where ever you put them, in his room, his man cave or office. Encourage him to dress like less of an asshole – https://www.trunkclub.com/ Your guy probably wears the same tattered and worn jeans three days out of the week, if not more. He has the exact same five shirts that he cycles through. He looks like a barbarian. If not for your guys’ sexual chemistry and all the sweet stuff he does for you and how he makes you feel, you’d prbably bail.

That would allow you to be a little bit of a dick, but we’re not judging. The Trunk Club is an excellent online clothing retailer that operates in the same vain as popular lens-peddler, Warby Parker. That is, you sign up, speak to one of Trunk Club’s stylists, give them some information and additionally they send you a trunk of clothing for you really to try out. You keep what you like, send back the rest and settle up your tab online. Pretty convenient for the dude that is loathe to try anything on in a store. Lame. Their prices are comparable to a Nordstrom and your fella will be looking ever slightly more handsome. Get the sucka a gift certificate: https://www.trunkclub.com/gifts. Give him the gift of you… Nekked.  – Yeah, this one should go without saying. Get into the Christmas spirit and ignite a new fantasy or an old one. Slut it up a bit as Santa… Wait, don’t do that. A slutty Santa scares the shit out of me. Truly. Your guy might be into a bit of domination. Give it to him.

Maybe he wants to tackle you in the back of a movie theater… Whatever it is, spice things up and let him HAVE you… All of you. Honorable Mention – Again, clothing related, by Blank Label makes a damn fine top. I own three, and I look fucking handsome (my mom says) each time out. They’re tailored to your man, come in a wide array of cuts and material and designs. They’re great. Worth the money and the wait. Thanks Bro – Beer and jerky.